The metamorphosis of “husband Marc” to “cosmeceutical savvy Dr. Marc” happened over a 2 year period. I may be stepping out on a limb by lumping your men folk into the same category with my husband, but I think that many husbands and boyfriends stop really looking at you after they’ve been around awhile. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone from blonde to brunette and back again without his blinking an eye.
But this babble isn’t about my hair, it’s about Marc’s Y chromosome evolution. It begins with the simple act of me looking in the mirror and seeing the signs of aging… the delicate crinkles around my eyes, the bunny lines on the bridge of my nose, the tiny red capillaries on my cheeks, etc. And I do mean etc.
It was in my early 40s that I started going to an aesthetician for facials, peels and it seems to spend ridiculous sums of money on the most up-to-date products. At first I tried to hide these bills from my husband. I don’t think he would have said anything (I too was bringing home a paycheck), but honestly, I was embarrassed.
Anyway, about 4 months into my new regime and 3 major facial peels later, my skin was looking dewy and softer, the lines were finer and 80% of the freckles and age spots had disappeared.
Guess what? He noticed.
Actually, he didn’t notice, but a friend told me how nice my skin looked in earshot and that’s when he noticed.
So, my totally non-metrosexual husband asked me what I was doing. I told him. After I shared that, I shared the bills with him too. I figured it was good for him to see that our money was being well spent. In spite of the peels and facials, the clock continued to tick and it was around the time I turned 45 that I decided to try botox – peels and facials can only do so much.
This is when the second half of his metamorphosis took place.
A funny thing happened on my way to get botox. My husband stopped me.
As you now know, his history was non-involvement in my beautifying, so I was pretty surprised when he said something. However, this time it was the doctor and not the husband that stopped me. He asked if I could wait, he would go get training and learn how to do it. I think we all know that this was a no-brainer.
I took a few little jumps for joy when he wasn’t looking and then got on the phone with my girlfriends to share “our” good fortune. Of course not only would I reap the benefits of his new training, but any of my friends who wanted to slow down the signs of aging would too. I mean, he would need a few guinea pigs in the beginning, wouldn’t he?
I’d like to say right now that this babble is not an advertisement for botox, nor any other cosmetic or plastic procedure. It is but a story about my husband’s change of view. Getting old sucks, but he wasn’t able to appreciate the effect it had on women as compared to men when it came to our faces.
However, when he saw how my skin looked after those peels and facials, he was a convert. As he undertook his training with a cosmetic surgeon and then more training with a pair of oculoplastic surgeons, I saw him looking at me and women differently.
During his training, he was able to see how a small amount of botox in the right place and some juvaderm filler to plump those deep grooves around the mouth and nose could rejuvenate a 60 year old woman. She might look a couple of years younger he would grudgingly agree, but as a surgeon, he saw the aesthetic benefit.
I guess the icing on the cake was during an evening out with friends. My girlfriend mentioned that she was thinking of getting botox. The husband made some derogatory remarks and used words like vanity and narcissism.
Marc, in his calm doctor/patient voice said, “Actually, I used to think like you, but I’ve seen what a small amount of botox can do to someone’s features and how that little change can make a person feel”. He also commented that some of his repeat patients for botox are men.
Marc has always been a sensitive man and has a keen ability to understand other’s emotions. However, his sensitivity didn’t carry over to understanding a woman’s vanity nor the stress and judgement that aging females feel.
Well that has changed.
Over the past eight years, he has seen what a peel, some filler, botox and facial cream can do. His metamorphosis is complete. He understands what his cosmeceutical clients want and is able to deliver. He is honest with us females. He will tell anyone who sits in his chair that his objective is to make them look rejuvenated, softer and relaxed, not 20 years younger nor a Grace Kelly look alike. Alas, that would be nice though….
In conclusion, I am blessed. Not only do I have a wonderful husband, but I also have a husband that is now more sensitive to and understanding of women. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still from Mars in many respects (do plates left in the sink ring any bells?), but on the issue of understanding a woman’s desire to age gracefully… maybe with a little bit of assistance, we speak the same language.